Thursday, December 13, 2012

Six months already or that's all?

It's funny having served a mission I thought sending my son off on his own mission wouldn't tug on my heartstrings like it does.  I was super happy and excited the whole while getting him ready to go.  I actually didn't have that much trauma dropping him off at the MTC.  The hardest part of all the good-byes was the kids, his siblings saying good-bye was very hard for them and hard to watch as a mom.  But once that was done I was fine.  But when he called from the airport and it was the lamest call ever, we weren't prepared so we didn't say much or talk much it was rather disappointing.  I was in a funk for a couple of days after and realized I was actually starting the 'mourning' process of saying good-bye for awhile.  Anticipating the hard times he would inevitably face, the loneliness of not knowing a soul or understanding anyone but also the deeper sense of purpose in relying on God because there is no one else to really trust.  I think unconsciously you realize the magnitude of the change to you and him.  You also experience a deeper trust in God to watch over and care for this child you have nurtured and cared over for the last 19 years.  All the while days seem to drag, and then it seems like he's been gone forever but he's only been gone 6 months?  And then other days, wow, it's time to write him again...these weeks fly by!  It's just amazing the range of emotions you can feel but at this point I mostly feel happy.  I am so happy he has had many amazing experiences that have helped him become a better person.  He has faced many challenges with faith and hope.  He is receiving many blessings and noticing the compensation during these hard times.  I am so happy he is faithful and loves the people he is serving.  I am grateful I know that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior.  I know that as my son shares the message of Jesus Christ with others they will be blessed forever and that brings me great joy.  I pray for and think of those he is teaching.  I care about them too.  It is a huge blessing.  Another heart enlarging experience for sure.  I would post a photo but I need to clean out my web albums because I am out of free space for photos!  Crazy, huh.  Here is a link to his blog that has some photos: http://eldertaranpew.blogspot.com/

1 comment:

4boyzmdmom said...

I can't believe I am going to have a missionary son soon! I am anxious and excited. While Scott has been gone this semester, the days have often flown by but I feel the same way when I realize that he's only been gone a little over 3 months. It feels like MUCH longer!! Now that he will be home soon I think about it more and I can hardly wait for the last few days to go by...